This is just a meaningless post, so by all means, don't read it.
Well, my life is officially fucktarded. I am not doing ANYthing for my birthday. I'm not hanging out with friends, or even family. My father is even WORKING on my birthday. So, I get to spend it sitting home alone.. wishing to have friends. Also, my ginger cousin broke off her engagement with her fiance. He was like the best almost-cousin-in-law ( ??? ) ever. Um.. Yeah, that's about it. Well, not really. But the other stuff shall not be posted on here..
I think I'm gonna go live in an igloo in Alaska now.. Peace, yo.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
School. Sleep. People. Cold. Blah.
Well.. Today was just one of those days. Ya know, when you can't think, talk, or concentrate, and you feel like shit. Man, it was bad. It was freezing, too.. Well, like 50 degrees. School was mega-boring, as well. I didn't listen to anything said today, it was like I was stoned. BUT, one thing I do remember that was said was said to me by some dude named Anthony, a sevvie. He said "you're ugly as fuck." Yep. That pretty much sums up how I have been feeling lately. Ugh. If people only knew how much it affects me. On top of that, Jared is pissed at me. I have no idea why, so I'm changing the subject.. Again. I don't really know what to say at this point.. Jaime still hasn't emailed back. It's been almost a month. I guess that says how much she cares, right? Anyway, I give up. I am no longer gonna try. From here on out, I'm not gonna give a fuck and am just gonna try to live through each day without killing a frog or something.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Moose. Stomachaches. Emancipation. Life.
Okay. just so you know, this post is gonna be kinda depressing. So, if you're in a good mood, I suggest reading this later.
Anywhore ( I just added that to my laptop's dictionary, Hannah. ), let's begin.
Moose~ I have been OBSESSED with moose lately. It's the Canadian blood kicking in. It's kind of weird, though. I used to hate moose. But now, I can't seem to go a day without saying something about the awesome creatures or the north. ( See? Obsession is taking over my sanity.. ) I don't know how to post a picture, otherwise this area right here, where I am typing, would be used for a picture of a moose. So, I am going to try to make my own moose. F__F ..Yeah, that's my moose. Please, no comments on my moose. It would hurt his feelings. His name shall be Maximilian.
Stomachaches~ This week has been the WORST for stomachaches. Not cramps, which I can deal with, but horrible pains. ( You see, I'd share this with an actual human being, but no one is really willing to listen.. ) Well, anyhow, I haven't been eating as much to see what could be causing it. So far, no luck. Oh well, right?
Emancipation~ Lauren and I were talking about how we cannot stand being under our dips' ( parents' ) guardianship. Then always blaming us, not caring about us, ignoring us, you get the drift. So, Lauren brought up emancipation. I think it's a great idea. We came up with this great plan, too. We share an apartment, right? We would split the bills and switch off buying groceries and doing the laundry and such. But, our dips don't think it's a good idea. As for mine, they can suck it. They're not my real parents anyway, so why do they think I have to listen to them? As for Lauren's, well, I can't say. We've got a couple years, so the idea will just have to grow on the dips.
Life~ In short, life sucks. I hate being adopted. I hate having mixed feelings. And I HATE not knowing who and/or what to believe ( such as friends and religion. ) It's kinda pissing me off. I want to be close with Jaime, but I don't think she wants anything to do with me. I mean, it's typical, but still. Okay, so Jared and I are getting close. But, my feelings are sooo confusing right now. One minute I really like him, the next I am annoyed. I don't know if it's me or what. You know how they say beggars can't be choosers? Who CAN be choosers, exactly? Because I for one, would love to be a chooser right now. Oh, I also found Jaime on Facebook. She's gorgeous. I wish I looked more like her.. It makes me so sad when I can't even know my own mother.. Life blows.
I'm fed up with not being good enough. I'm fed up with being ugly and unwanted. I'm fed up with being all alone. I guess you could say I'm giving up right now, putting it in to emo terms. Well.. Umm.. Ugh.
Anywhore ( I just added that to my laptop's dictionary, Hannah. ), let's begin.
Moose~ I have been OBSESSED with moose lately. It's the Canadian blood kicking in. It's kind of weird, though. I used to hate moose. But now, I can't seem to go a day without saying something about the awesome creatures or the north. ( See? Obsession is taking over my sanity.. ) I don't know how to post a picture, otherwise this area right here, where I am typing, would be used for a picture of a moose. So, I am going to try to make my own moose. F__F ..Yeah, that's my moose. Please, no comments on my moose. It would hurt his feelings. His name shall be Maximilian.
Stomachaches~ This week has been the WORST for stomachaches. Not cramps, which I can deal with, but horrible pains. ( You see, I'd share this with an actual human being, but no one is really willing to listen.. ) Well, anyhow, I haven't been eating as much to see what could be causing it. So far, no luck. Oh well, right?
Emancipation~ Lauren and I were talking about how we cannot stand being under our dips' ( parents' ) guardianship. Then always blaming us, not caring about us, ignoring us, you get the drift. So, Lauren brought up emancipation. I think it's a great idea. We came up with this great plan, too. We share an apartment, right? We would split the bills and switch off buying groceries and doing the laundry and such. But, our dips don't think it's a good idea. As for mine, they can suck it. They're not my real parents anyway, so why do they think I have to listen to them? As for Lauren's, well, I can't say. We've got a couple years, so the idea will just have to grow on the dips.
Life~ In short, life sucks. I hate being adopted. I hate having mixed feelings. And I HATE not knowing who and/or what to believe ( such as friends and religion. ) It's kinda pissing me off. I want to be close with Jaime, but I don't think she wants anything to do with me. I mean, it's typical, but still. Okay, so Jared and I are getting close. But, my feelings are sooo confusing right now. One minute I really like him, the next I am annoyed. I don't know if it's me or what. You know how they say beggars can't be choosers? Who CAN be choosers, exactly? Because I for one, would love to be a chooser right now. Oh, I also found Jaime on Facebook. She's gorgeous. I wish I looked more like her.. It makes me so sad when I can't even know my own mother.. Life blows.
I'm fed up with not being good enough. I'm fed up with being ugly and unwanted. I'm fed up with being all alone. I guess you could say I'm giving up right now, putting it in to emo terms. Well.. Umm.. Ugh.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Whores. Movies. Boys. Skittles. Water. Technology. ( Parte Due )
Part two: Skittles, water, and technology:
This part is just gonna be random.. Less meaningful. Woo!
I LOVE Skittles! Holy whores! They are HEAVENLY. I've probably eaten my weight in Skittles the past few weeks. As for water, I've been drinking two bottles ( at least ) every day. I'm trying to see if it will help with my dark circles. I've also been going to bed an hour earlier, turning my phone off around 9-9:30. So far, no changes in the under-eye area. Maybe it just takes a while. I wish I didn't have dark circles.. I'd feel much more confident.. Well, at least I can say I'm trying, right? So, this week, technology hasn't been kind to me. My laptop's mouse stopped working. It just.. Died. How sad!!! My phone is stupid and keeps screwing up. I swear, it's gonna get me in some serious trouble one day.. Sending the wrong text to the wrong person. Sheesh, I don't even wanna think about that! Oh! I am now getting two allergy shots at least every week. But, wanting to get done sooner, I'm doing two every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday! Shots galore! W00t. Well.. Umm.. Honestly, all I can think about right now is Jared.. And how close we got tonight at the movies.. Yeah. So, instead of telling you more about that, I'm gonna go to bed! I'm going to the mall with Lauren and possibly Sean and Jared tomorrow ( well, today )! Yaaay! Happiness explosion! I will update about that soon. :D
Whores. Movies. Boys. Skittles. Water. Technology. ( Da Una Parte )
Part 1: Whores, movies, and boys.~
I'm a WHORE. Oh my gosh. Now, time to elaborate. Hunter asked me out, yeah? I, of course, confused him by saying "yes, no, maybe, I don't know, sure, kidding, okay." I thought it was funny. He, on the other hand, didn't. I got home and received a text from him. "so, umm.. Was that a yes or no?" My dumb side took over here and said "sure, why not?" ( that was a couple weeks ago ). Now, realizing Hunter's a douchebag, to me and others, I've decided I want to end this. But how I came to realize this you may ask? Because my Perv ( Jared ) and I started talking again. Mostly because I saw him at the T-High vs. T-West football homecoming game.. That I was supposed to meet Hunter and Lauren ( a new awesome friend of mine ) at. Jared and I sat together and stuff. Got to talking. Ya know, the usual homo sapien things. Then, while we were walking to go do stuff, I saw Hunter and he saw me.. So I walked up to where he was and sat down. Lauren on my left, Hunter on my right, and Jared behind me. Hunter was acting like a total dick! He was being rude to me and Jared and Lauren ( kinda ). I was fed up and he took the hint and left. ( that was last night ). Today, Hunter invited me to go to the mall. Here's our convo: H"wanna go to the mall with me and Ethan?" "can't." "why?" "I have parents that said no? ( even when I didn't bother to ask )." Then, a couple hours later, I was on facebook, talking to Jared. We were talking about Hunter and how he treats me and shows no respect and only seems to think about sex. Blah, blah, blah, talk, talk, talk. J"you wanna come to the movie ( Contagion- which I might add, was a horrible movie.. ) with me and Sean?" "sure! Give me the details. Want me to invite Lauren?" " ( details ) and yeah sure." blah, blah, blah. "Lauren can't come. You want me to just not go too?" "no come, please." So I went. And it was amazing, but before I tell you the amazing part, here's the bad part. Hunter called me twice during the movie. He also texted me asking if I wanted to go over to his house! Yeah, dumb, right? Back to the amazingness. Jared and I cuddled and it was sooo cute. It felt right. Our breaths were in sync and I could feel his heart racing ( sounds cheesy, but try to live in the moment here ). We were holding hands. His arm around me. His head resting against mine, which was resting on his shoulder and chest. Aww. It makes me smile.. ( I'm not gonna comment on how much of a whore that makes me seem.. Well, I just did. Oh well. )
I'm a WHORE. Oh my gosh. Now, time to elaborate. Hunter asked me out, yeah? I, of course, confused him by saying "yes, no, maybe, I don't know, sure, kidding, okay." I thought it was funny. He, on the other hand, didn't. I got home and received a text from him. "so, umm.. Was that a yes or no?" My dumb side took over here and said "sure, why not?" ( that was a couple weeks ago ). Now, realizing Hunter's a douchebag, to me and others, I've decided I want to end this. But how I came to realize this you may ask? Because my Perv ( Jared ) and I started talking again. Mostly because I saw him at the T-High vs. T-West football homecoming game.. That I was supposed to meet Hunter and Lauren ( a new awesome friend of mine ) at. Jared and I sat together and stuff. Got to talking. Ya know, the usual homo sapien things. Then, while we were walking to go do stuff, I saw Hunter and he saw me.. So I walked up to where he was and sat down. Lauren on my left, Hunter on my right, and Jared behind me. Hunter was acting like a total dick! He was being rude to me and Jared and Lauren ( kinda ). I was fed up and he took the hint and left. ( that was last night ). Today, Hunter invited me to go to the mall. Here's our convo: H"wanna go to the mall with me and Ethan?" "can't." "why?" "I have parents that said no? ( even when I didn't bother to ask )." Then, a couple hours later, I was on facebook, talking to Jared. We were talking about Hunter and how he treats me and shows no respect and only seems to think about sex. Blah, blah, blah, talk, talk, talk. J"you wanna come to the movie ( Contagion- which I might add, was a horrible movie.. ) with me and Sean?" "sure! Give me the details. Want me to invite Lauren?" " ( details ) and yeah sure." blah, blah, blah. "Lauren can't come. You want me to just not go too?" "no come, please." So I went. And it was amazing, but before I tell you the amazing part, here's the bad part. Hunter called me twice during the movie. He also texted me asking if I wanted to go over to his house! Yeah, dumb, right? Back to the amazingness. Jared and I cuddled and it was sooo cute. It felt right. Our breaths were in sync and I could feel his heart racing ( sounds cheesy, but try to live in the moment here ). We were holding hands. His arm around me. His head resting against mine, which was resting on his shoulder and chest. Aww. It makes me smile.. ( I'm not gonna comment on how much of a whore that makes me seem.. Well, I just did. Oh well. )
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